


sea, snow, and star filled skies

by dazeful



Series: Fictober 2020 [28]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Changing Tenses, Crushes, Emotional Constipation, Fictober 2020, First Love, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Not Beta Read, Sound used for emotion, Sugawara Koushi-centric, kinda rushed ngl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:01:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27258340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dazeful/pseuds/dazeful
Summary: Sugawara Koushi had a special sort of power. It was not a particularly useful power, nor was it something powerful that could make him the next Superman or Dr. Strange. No, it was a power made for other uses, a power made to listen. Sugawara Koushi held the power to hear other people’s emotions.He could hear the fluttering high notes of love. The stormy crescendo of anger. The rain against a tin roof of sadness and regret.Daichi was next to him, the sound of wind through wheat stalks emanated from him and Suga knew he was content, confident. Tanaka was on Daichi’s other side and Suga could hear the excitement roll off of the younger boy in the noise of racing cars. As Sugawara stepped into the gym he was immediately assaulted with the high twinkle of happiness from the orange haired kid, which quickly changed to a steady drum beat of anticipation as Daichi called out for Kagayama.Tanaka rattled off an attempt of furiosity and Daichi quickly tugged at his collar. “Are you Kageyama?” Daichi had a smile on his face, and Suga let a grin slip onto his own features.xxFictober 28-- Sound
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Kageyama Tobio & Sugawara Koushi, One Sided Kageyama Tobio/Sugawara Koushi - Relationship
Series: Fictober 2020 [28]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1968337
Comments: 4
Kudos: 47





	sea, snow, and star filled skies

_ “Comfort is the purring of a cat, memories sound like friends coming back together after a long time of being apart. _

_ The silence a heart makes while it breaks, because for a moment it forgot to beat. _

_ And the sound of what it is to love, unique, never repeating the same twice.” _

—Olivia Dolphin

A young woman passed by him, her voice chittered as she talked on the phone like the noise songbirds made on Spring mornings. The sound of feet crunching on snow and the coo of doves surrounded her like mist. A smile bloomed across her face, she laughed at something the other person said on the other side of the line, and the sounds around her grew to a tumultuous roar. Suga smiled to himself, wondered what kind of relationship the woman had with the person. A friend? A sibling? Or perhaps a lover?

She whisked out of his range of hearing and the dove song faded away. 

Sugawara Koushi had a special sort of power. It was not a particularly useful power, nor was it something powerful that could make him the next Superman or Dr. Strange. No, it was a power made for other uses, a power made to listen. Sugawara Koushi held the power to hear other people’s emotions. 

He could hear the fluttering high notes of love. The stormy crescendo of anger. The rain against a tin roof of sadness and regret. 

He had never been able to pick out the sounds animals made when they got excited or scared, no matter how closely he held his old cat he could never make out a sound from her. His own emotions were nearly muted, Suga could only catch them when he was in dead quiet or when he felt something too strongly. 

Everyone made a sound, from tiny children to those who had lived for decades. And the sounds never stopped. Suga was constantly hearing other’s happiness, their regrets, their rage. Crowded places had long since become his damnation, he couldn’t attend volleyball games or amusement parks without earplugs. He didn’t quite mind, avoiding places that were bustling with people was a small price to pay in order to understand people fully. 

Understanding people had always been his strong suit. He could console crying kids, who blared sounds of frustrated sirens or sad church bells. Suga could help kids his age, who were surrounded with the thunderstorm song of depression or rapid piano of anxiety. The boy could even understand adults, adults with their low thrum of stress or fire crackle of passion. He had never met someone he couldn’t hear. 

Until Kageyama Tobio stepped into the gym. 

He could remember that day, the memory still clear in his mind despite the time that had passed (and perhaps it would always be). 

_ Daichi was next to him, the sound of wind through wheat stalks emanated from him and Suga knew he was content, confident. Tanaka was on Daichi’s other side and Suga could hear the excitement roll off of the younger boy in the noise of racing cars. As Sugawara stepped into the gym he was immediately assaulted with the high twinkle of happiness from the orange haired kid, which quickly changed to a steady drum beat of anticipation as Daichi called out for Kagayama.  _

_ Tanaka rattled off an attempt of furiosity and Daichi quickly tugged at his collar. “Are you Kageyama?” Daichi had a smile on his face, and Suga let a grin slip onto his own features.  _ _  
  
_

_ The black haired one stepped forward, and Suga felt his heart skip a beat. Blood rushed in his ears, sweat beaded on porcelain skin. He could almost hear the low croak of a crow from his own being, a sound that meant huh? Because for once, Suga couldn’t hear anything. Kageyama Tobio was devoid of sound.  _

_ “Hello.” Kageyama dipped his head.  _

_ Daichi’s smile grew, Suga’s faded away. “Glad to see you!” _

_ Suga swallowed, “He’s pretty darned tall.” He had to talk, had to make noise to cover the absence of sound from this Kageyama kid.  _

_ Tanaka frowned, “First impressions are key Suga-san!” A note of playfulness enters his voice, “Blast him with your upperclassman prestige!” He made another one of those faces that are meant to unnerve people, Daichi slapped him upside the head and told him to cut it out. Daichi continued to drill Kageyama with questions, and the orange haired kid had started to get restless. Suga wanted to turn to the boy, who he thought was named Hinata, and welcome him too, but he couldn’t pull his attention away from Kageyama. He turned away, put on a happy face and tried not to dwell on the oddity.  _

It was unsettling, being able to hear everyone but him. It was like Suga had been flipping through a radio and had suddenly come across a dead station. When Suga was around Kageyama it was as though everyone else’s sounds had become muted, and soon Suga began to enjoy the silence he rarely got any time else. He found himself relaxed, the constant thrum of a million emotions put strain on his mind and Kageyama was the perfect sound-proofer. 

But a question festered in the back of Suga’s head. Gnawing away at him like wind against stone. 

_ Why was Kageyama silent? _ Did he also have a sort of power like Suga, the power to block out others? Or maybe he didn’t feel emotion. But everyone felt emotion, and Suga could catch even the slightest of sounds. He wanted to know, he wanted to solve the enigma that was Kageyama Tobio.

Which was how he found himself  _ here.  _

The swing Suga sat in was still damp from the afternoon’s rain. Water dripped onto his hair from the metal and brought goosebumps to the surface of his skin. He could hear the groan of the rusted chain as Kageyama swung lightly beside him. It was gray today, gray skies and gray feelings of gloom in Suga’s stomach. He chewed his lip, let his eyes flicker over to the younger boy. 

“Say,” Suga started, “What do you feel?”

Kageyama met Suga’s gaze, his eyes narrowed and questioning. He hummed, “I water from the rain. I feel the ground beneath my feet. I feel𑁋”

“No.” Suga shook his head, thinking about how he should make himself clearer. It was the day after Hinata and Kageyama had fought. Suga could still hear the lion’s roar of Hinata’s anger, the symbol crash of Tanaka intervening, and the ghostly whisper of Yachi’s fright. “I mean, how do you feel emotionally?” 

“I’m not sure.” Kageyama let his eyes fall back to the gray sky above them. He scratched at the back of his neck. “I’m fine, if that’s what you mean.” His face remained neutral, and Suga got the feeling he was lying. “Just frustrated, ‘s all.” 

Suga thought that his blue eyes looked nice in this light. He shook his head, cleared away the unsavory thoughts. “Can I say something weird?”

“Sure.”

“I think you don’t feel anything at all. I think you let yourself get swept up in other people’s emotions and shut away your own.”

Kageyama stilled his feet, letting his swing come to a stop. His eyes squeezed shut for a moment, and Sugawara wondered if he had made the other cry. Then those big blue eyes blinked open at him and Suga knew he had done the opposite. “You’re right.”

“I am?”

A shallow nod answered Suga’s question. “I don’t know how to explain it.” He cracked his knuckles, a nervous habit, and turned towards Suga. “I just don’t know how to feel. And.” 

“And?”

“And, I’m scared of what it would be like.” 

Suga picked at the skin around his fingernail. He wondered if Daichi was having trouble consoling Hinata, they’d both agreed to check up on the boys after the fight and Suga was eternally grateful that  _ he  _ was the one who had chosen Kagayama. Daichi wouldn’t know how to handle this, Suga mused. “I understand. But, I think it might help you if you let yourself experience things.”

The younger setter scoffed, “Why? It’s much more practical to not let emotions get in the way.” 

He had a point, Suga thought.  _ Why indeed?  _ “Sometimes emotions can help us understand things better. Plus, connecting with your teammates emotionally will make you a better player. Even Tsukishima can do that.” It was a low blow, Suga knew that, but he had to get his point across. It was a low blow, but at this point Suga would do anything to hear the kind of sound that came from the younger boy. 

Kageyama’s eyebrows furrowed. “I can do anything better than he can.” He stood up, much too suddenly because Suga felt himself jump slightly. “I want to be the best, Sugawara-senpai.” He stepped in front of Suga, towering over the silver haired boy still seated in the swing. “Teach me how to.”

“What? How to experience emotion?”

“Yes.” Kagayama bowed at the hip, trying to convey his seriousness to the other.

Suga sighed, it would be so much easier if he could just tell Kageyama to  _ listen.  _ “Well, I suppose I could help you.” He stood, pulled Kageyama back into a standing position. “Let’s start here, yeah? Tell me how you  _ really  _ felt when Hinata and you fought. Try describing it with,” Suga started to say sound, “...color. Y’know, red for anger, blue for sadness, and so on.” 

“Color?” Kageyama started towards the entrance of the playground, stilled his pace to one that better matched Sugawara’s. “I’d say orange, because I was really mad, but also kind of happy that Hinata wanted to improve. And red for anger and yellow for happiness make orange, right?”

The two boys stepped into the sidewalk, their feet started for the convenience store down the street. “Yeah, that makes perfect sense!” Suga listened closely, but the only noise that came from Kagayama were his shallow breaths and footsteps on the sidewalk. 

“But a light orange. I didn’t really feel much at all, just a bit of that happy-angry feeling.” 

Suga nodded, “I thought so. That’s okay, though.” Suga pressed closer to Kageyama to let a mother and her three children by, to his surprise Kageyama didn’t move away. The family passed and he returned to the polite distance he’d walked at before. “How about a game?” 

“A game?” Suga could almost hear the curiosity in the other boy’s tone. 

“Yes, yes. A game.” Suga grinned, he tried to keep the playfulness from his voice. “I’ll make you experience emotion to the fullest within a month, and if I’m able to, you have to treat me to a meal.” Suga knocked shoulders with Kageyama, laughing as the other stumbled forwards a bit. 

Kageyama clicked his tongue and rubbed his shoulder. “And if you can’t?”

“Hmm, then you choose something for me to do.”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, just think about it.” Suga smiled wider, “Not that you need to, though, I won’t lose.” And with that he left Kageyama in the dust, sprinting the last few feet into the convenience store in order to swipe the last meat bun. 

xx

Suga watched as Kageyama slipped his schoolbag on, “Ready to go?” 

The raven haired setter shifted the strap of his bag across his shoulder. “Yes.” He started for the door. 

“Oh? What business does the great king have with our sweet vice captain?” Suga heard the snide remark from Tsukishima and the mischievous sound of something mechanical. Suga watched as Kageyama bristled at the name King, and took the hem of the boy’s jacket to tug him out the door. 

Suga called over his shoulder, “Setter secret, sorry!” He thought the way Asahi’s face scrunched up in confusion was hilarious, and the way Hinata pouted brought a smile to his face. He’d have to bring the first year a snack to make up for it. He started down the stairs, his hand still wound around Kageyama’s shirt.

“They’ll think we’re up to something.” 

“Aren’t we though?” Suga laughed and let go of the other’s shirt. “Okay, so no game this weekend, right?” 

Kageyama cocked an eyebrow, “Yeah?” His voice was questioning, as though he knew Sugawara was up to something devilish.

“And you told your sister you’d be staying over with me?”

“Uh huh.”

“Then we’ll go out tonight!” Suga skipped forward, his hands clenched around the strap of his bag. “If we drop off our stuff at my place and change, then I can drive mom’s car to the location.” Suga pinched the bridge of his nose, thinking. 

The younger setter picked up the pace as Suga started a light jog, “Where to?”

Suga clicked his tongue, “An hour away there’s an arcade. I thought playing games would be an easy way to feel frustration and excitement, among other things, but if you don’t want to we can stay home and watch romcoms instead.” Suga hummed, casting his eyes to Kageyama. 

“I’ve never been to an arcade. I’d like to go.” Kageyama’s eyes were suddenly alight with a playful fire. “Sorry, Suga-san, but I’ll win all the games.”

“How cocky!” Suga delivered a swift punch to the other’s shoulder. “I’ll have you know, I’m  _ excellent  _ at cheap arcade games.” He laughed as Kageyama flinched away and gave him a glare. This was going to be interesting. 

xx 

“Hah! I win again!” Suga does a little victory dance at his end of the air hockey table, desperately trying to get a rise out of Kageyama. “How many times is that now?” 

“Twenty-seven,” Kageyama mutters from across the table, “To nine.” 

Suga skips around the air hockey table, cocking his head towards Kageyama. He can hear the tittering of songbirds from a passing woman, the clang of iron from an old man behind them, the roar of a lion as a little boy wins a jackpot𑁋 but there is still no sound coming from Kageyama. 

Despite himself, Suga sighs. “Next time for sure.” 

xx 

They try baking next. 

“Accomplishment! That’s an easy feeling.” Suga slings a handful of flour at Kageyama, dusting the younger’s dusky hair with snowy white. “It might not come out perfectly, but at least we’ll make something!” 

“So, what are we making?” Kageyama scowls at the flour, pawing at his hair like a dog in an effort to get it out. 

Suga props open the fridge, leaning almost inside of it to rummage for butter and eggs. “We’ll start off easy𑁋 chocolate chip cookies,” Suga nodded to a piece of paper on the counter, “Why don’t you start measuring everything out? The measuring cups are in the pantry behind you.” 

They fall into a comfortable silence (much to Suga’s dismay, as he wanted to hear Kageyama’s emotion more than anything) each of them focused wholly on their respective tasks. 

Kageyama pours flour into bowls, measures out chocolate chips and fills a teaspoon with vanilla extract. Suga comes up behind him, mixing dry ingredients into a larger bowl and popping chocolate into his mouth. 

The younger setter is good company, Suga muses, good at listening to Suga ramble and willing to follow directions. He lets Suga instruct him on mixing, on how much batter to put in each cookie, and how to set the timer on the oven. 

A warm aroma of sweet chocolate cookie soon permeates the air. Suga takes the pan out, shooing Kageyama out of the way and placing them on the marble island. They eat them while they're still hot and gooey, dunking them in milk and burning their tongues out of impatience. 

Suga waits for the rush of river of accomplishment, waits for the hum of the radio that accompanies contentedness, but nothing comes. 

xx 

They lose a big game, and for a split second Sugawara swears he hears the snap of a string from Kageyama. 

xx 

Somewhere along the line of spending time together, Suga feels the festering feeling of a crush worm its way into his heart. 

Watching Kageyama, getting to know him, sheds a new light on the boy. He’s childish and brash and angry, but he’s also so deeply motivated, so beautifully ambitious. And soon Suga lets his hands start to linger on Kageyama’s, lets compliments slip easier, lets his eyes watch Kageyama more closely. 

His want to hear Kageyama’s feelings starts to grow into an obsession. He wants more than anything to be the reason for the noise, wants to bring the sound of love to Kageyama. 

xx 

“Have you ever been in love, Sugawara-senpai?” 

Suga starts, the bowl of popcorn on his lap tilting and spilling onto his legs. “Huh?” 

The romcom drones away in the background, the cliche scenes of chocolate making and Christmas magic filling the screen. Kageyama turns to Suga, “Is there anyone you’ve loved before,” He points to the TV screen, “Like  _ that  _ kind of love.” 

“Well,” Suga picks popcorn off his blanket covered lap, “Once or twice.” He feels a hopeful sort of feeling start to sprout in his chest, “Why?” 

Even in the darkness of the living room, Suga can see the red that rises on Kageyama’s cheeks. “No reason.” He turns back to the TV, glancing back at Suga after a few awkward moments. 

“I see,” Suga smiles to himself, craning his ears over the sound of the movie. There’s a rhythmic drum melody just under the joke being told on the screen, but Sugawara cannot tell if it’s Kageyama or the sound of his own heart beating. 

xx 

Suga hears Kageyama for the first time on the day of his graduation. 

He’s walking past the park, the one where they first devised their ploy to summon Kageyama’s emotions. 

Kageyama sits on the creaky, old swing set, kicking his feet back and forth lazily, and when Suga steps closer his eyes land on Hinata. They’re talking in hushed whispers, a sound of lightning storms radiating off of the redhead, both boys quiet despite being alone in the park. 

Hinata’s face is cast in red, his head turned to Kageyama and his eyes as wide as saucers. Suga hides close behind the two boys, his body shielded from view by a vivid, red slide. 

“I’ve never done this before!” There’s Hinata’s voice, high and tinged with a note of wind chime anxiety. “Are we supposed to do  _ something _ ?” 

“Well I haven’t done it either,” Kageyama’s voice comes out in a low hiss of a noise. “Isn’t it enough to say I want to?” 

“I guess!” The exasperation of a door slamming. “I want to date you too, but in the movies they always seal the deal with a kiss!” 

It would be a cute statement, Suga thinks, if his heart wasn’t currently cracking down the middle. 

“Then come here!” Kageyama sounds almost angry, the sound of a swing being pulled roughly floats into Suga’s ears. “I’ve never done this, so don’t complain if it sucks.” 

And then Suga hears it. 

The crash of ocean waves against stone, the twinkling of stars, the crunch of feet on a blanket of snow. Kageyama Tobio sounds like all the lonely places Suga has ever known𑁋 the sea, the snow, the star filled skies. 

Suga peeks around the slide, watching the chaste kiss Kageyama presses against the shorter’s tightly closed mouth. Kageyama’s emotions are  _ loud,  _ drowning Hinata’s firefly buzz in blizzards and storms at sea. 

It’s beautiful, strong,  _ of course it is,  _ Suga thinks,  _ It’s Kageyama after all.  _ He can only wish that it was for him. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Comments are appreciated! Ran out of time so used an old draft (you can tall it's old because it starts in past tense!)


End file.
